Bittersweet

I realize this is two fairly depressing posts in a row (at least for me) but I wanted to share something that happened last Sunday.

I'm coming out of my room after getting dressed... I step into the hallway in time to see Brooklyn turn towards me with the biggest, most proud smile...

"Look, Mom! I look just like you!!!"

Like I said, she was proud!

To which I replied, "No, Brooklyn... absolutely not!"

Just thinking back to how her face fell at my disappointment breaks my heart.

What was so bad about her clothes? Was her butt-crack showing? Did she have on a mini-skirt that was WAY too short? Was her top too tight and a little too low-cut?!

No.

She was very pretty and classy with black dress pants and a very pretty black blouse with a pink applique heart on it.

My reasoning is and remains, "you need to wear a dress on Sundays!"

Her defense, "... but I wanted to look like you."

To which I replied, "I wear pants because that's all I have! I would wear dresses if I *HAD* dresses..."

To myself... "dress that fit."

Eventually I caved because I couldn't stand the look on her face. I didn't want her to understand WHY I don't wear my dresses in the closet. I didn't want her thinking that she didn't look beautiful no matter what she wore. I didn't want her thinking I wasn't proud of myself.

So I did let her wear the pants... "this one time" ... and she looked like her Momma... one church member actually remarked on our matchiness... and that made her happy.

I don't have any wise words or advice or a lesson lurking here. I'm proud of my baby girl, but it appalled me that she wanted to look like me. Gee, not any self shame and doubt lurking in there anywhere, right?!

Again... prayers are always welcomed!