Thursday, July 23, 2009
That's when a lump in my throat appeared.
And I started making plans in my head. They were small thoughts... at first. The first plan was going to be a pain in the butt and it would have to wait until the kids were up. I contemplated going upstairs to stomp up and down the hallway rather loudly... opening and closing bedroom doors... opening and shutting the hallway closet doors with a thud... "accidentally" turning on their bedroom lights and exclaiming "Oops! Sorry girls... I thought you were already awake! You might as well get out of bed since mean 'ole Mommy already woke you up! Poor babies!" Yes, plans were starting to take root... I needed to replace what was missing.
A few more plans played out in my head... asking someone else to help me out, sneaking out and right back... borrowing, begging, stealing... NO... I'm an adult. A responsible 30-somethingish woman lady and I will handle this with dignity! I chose the most responsible plan and was momentarily satisfied.
Then I got a phone call... DELAYED. I wouldn't be able to carry out my plan as soon now.
The lump grew a bit. Ok, I thought to myself. No big deal... it'll be fine. My tired mother brain just needed to tweek the orignal plan so it became a slightly more pain-in-the-butt plan... but it would have to do.
I seemily appeared calm and collected on the outside as I flitted around the house, doing this and doing that. Putting clothes on to look presentable... letting the dogs out... brushing my hair... brushing my teeth... picking up the front room floor... letting the dogs back in... greeting my eldest daughter as she came down stairs... Still, all the while, I couldn't stop watching the clock.
It won't be long now... till I can get it.
Except that it seemed an eternity. Time was going sooo slow that I could almost hear my own blood rushing through my veins.... the ticking of the imaginary grandfather clock... the dog quietly snoring in slo-mo. I felt the nervousness boiling in my stomach and making it's way higher. I was afraid I was going to bellow out my agitation if I didn't hold it together. I stood there, waiting for kids to be dropped off, waiting for Poppa to take off with the older two girls... waiting for them to drive away. Get out of my house!!!
Then they were gone! I grabbed my truck keys, grabbed the baby, grabbed the other kid and headed for the door. Wait! Where was my wallet? I dashed into the kitchen and grabbed my wallet? (Why was it in the kitchen, you ask? Well, that saying "A place for everything and everything in it's place"? Yeah... well, it doesn't always work here.)
Hurry, other kid, walk faster! Emma, get into your carseat and buckle yourself. Other kid, climb into the truck. Hey, other kid, where'd those scratches come from on your forehead? What? It doesn't matter right now, we've got to go and we've got to go now!
I drive to our neighborhood "Farmer's Market" store... *gasp* and drive right by. There's someone there I know! I may have clothes on and my hair might be slightly done, but that doesn't mean I'm show quality. After all, I'm missing something!!! I drive 20 seconds down the road to the next store and park! There are only two young slightly men outside unloading large stacks of beverages outside.... who cares about them? I'm almost there!
I contemplated, once again... I could leave the kids in the car and dash in and be out before any cops show up. (You'll notice anytime I contemplate anything that I may not be thinking clearly. I appreciate if this wasn't held against me.) The rest is all a blur. I vaguely remember rows of groceries, walking much faster than usual, cash passing hands and a baby on a hip... but the rest is all kinds of blurry.
Until I get back out to the truck and realize what I'd just done. I know it's bad. It's crept in and taken over a bit more. I know it's bad when I take a half dressed baby (seriously, who does that?) into a corner liquor store in the early morning hours (ok, 8 am) and pays $5... yes FIVE dollars for a bottle of coffee creamer...
*hanging head in shame* I need help. Is there a support group for something like this?
P.S. Might I just add? One cup of creamer with a bit of coffee has been washed down and the shakes are gone... My nervous system is as calm and relaxed as a newborn baby in peaceful slumber.
P.P.S. It's bad, right? Bad, bad, terrible...
Monday, July 20, 2009
She was making sure no one was paying attention to her as she inched towards the controls!
Half of the "crew" in the water... you'll notice I let this one slip in there - even though I'm in it!
This is my awesome nephew, Cole.
Brooklyn - maxin' & relaxin!
Here's Red... she loved it, too!
Talk about fun! Brenna had a load of it!
Friday, July 10, 2009
Yes, you heard me right and No, not those kind of butt freckles.
(Unless, of course, they're on baby bottoms)
However, these butt freckles have
nothing almost nothing to do with butts.
You see, not too very long ago, I had no idea what a butt freckle was and as you can imagine, I was very intrigued - (as you probably are right now)- when I first heard "butt freckles". So I immediately followed links and this is what I found...
"What the-?!" I was thinking... just like I'm sure you are, now.
At first, my cynical nature took over and quite ignored the cute fuzziness and big eyeballs that were somewhat appealing. These simply did not make sense. What the heck are butt freckles?!
So, I began reading this deranged person's shop announcements, in which she writes... and I quote...
"I needed a creative outlet to keep my hands busy and my mind fresh. I created these little freckles to meet both of those needs."
Yeah, OK... I can see that, but what ARE butt freckles?
She addresses that, too...
"All freckles are snatched off quickly and with excessive force. They are then taken to a secret lab where they are exposed to radioactive caju dust which causes the freckle to greatly increase in size. After exposure to the dust, the freckle's unique characteristics become easily visible including their very own butt freckle.(a special glass bead sewn on the rear, example shown in last picture)"
Er, excuse me!?! Cuckoo... cuckoo... (can you see the little birdy going in and out)?
And then I may have seen one like this pretty lil gal... She is the Fancy Cake Butt Freckle.
And my heart may have softened a little bit...
So then I probably started looking at more... and I could have started to read the little back stories behind the names.
This is the Einstein Strawberry Butt Freckle
"A strawberry with hair. This sometimes happens in my fridge and I am sharing the results with you ^_^"
And then I giggled - because I may or may not have something in my fridge that looks like that.
You know what that means... I was starting to get hooked.
The Cauliflower Butt Freckle
"This funky nubby veggie is not one of my favorites but it has some darn cute freckles."
And here are a few samples of the freckles that end up on the butts of these cuties. (So I guess it does have something to do with butts afterall.) Still not convinced? That's OK, you don't have to be. The man of the house still isnt'. His main question was... "What do you do with them?"
Funny, she address that, too...
"What to do with your freckle?
- hide it in the medicine closet
- stash it in your child's lunch
- make it pee on your son (thanks MaMeex5)
- throw it at the cat
- set it on your desk
- tag the back of your bro's head
The possibilities are endless!"
I particularly like 4 and 6!
All kidding aside, though... I chose to order a couple of these things because I came to admire the concept as a whole. This woman took something so simple and easy to make and is now selling them like mad! I believe her off-center humor and wit also add to the appeal.
When I first found her she had sold somewhere between 700-800 BFs... Her totals are now up to around 1700! 1700 BF's sold?! You can do the math, but that's a pretty good record for such a "silly" little product.
And for the record, I no longer think the Butt Freckle creator is deranged and/or Cuckoo! I would LOVE to find something so fun to make a sale and be as successful as she has. And honestly, these things bring a smile to my face everytime I see them. I'd say she's close to genius!
I'll share with you two of my favorite Butt Freckles.
The first one I ever bought:
Caramel Butt Freckle
(Because, I, like her, LOVE caramel)
"I don't like chocolate but I love caramel. From the processed cubes to melted topping. This guy is from homemade caramel from my mother in law's cheesecake.YUMMY"
Lemon Curd Butt Freckle
(because it's cute)
"Lemon Curd is great right off the spoon or you can add it to something like bread or scones. My last batch had this hairy freckle at the bottom of the bowl."
If you think you might one day like to buy a Butt Freckle, you can browse through her current and sold inventory by visiting her shop... just click here!
Thursday, July 9, 2009
My heart is swelling and pitter-pattering in a most peculiar way.
Yeah, I know, right?!
For the love of all that is Holy, GET THEE BEHIND ME!