Some that know me, very few probably, know that I have been reading some heartbreaking stories of parents who have lost their babies. I don't purposely go looking for these stories... it's almost as if I'm being led to them. I've struggled to find the meaning of staying up until midnight as I pour through the background of these stories... only to come to the heartwrenching present where the parents and families are enveloped in an overwhelming pit of despair. Ok, that sounds so dramatic, but I can't think of a better picture for what these families are going through - to have lost a child... a BABY. Here one day and gone the next. So many unanswered questions and the failure to see the big picture.
I sob and sob and sob as I read the desperate words of the parents... praying for a miracle... praying for wisdom and strength. I sob as I feel guilty for having three beautiful and healthy children... I sob as I feel even more guilty for being a coward and pleading with God to not let me have to endure that pain. I have witnessed the life leaving a loved one and it was hard... so hard to let go. It has left a permanent mark on my soul. I try and sensor my thoughts so as not to "tempt my fate"... to maybe sway what God has planned for me. I try not to straight out beg him to protect my children... not never put me through such a trial... maybe that would trigger something to really test my faith and devotion. Of course I would like to believe I would trust God in any such storm and give all praise and glory to Him. Of course I would, right? I'm just a coward who doubts I could make it through such a trial.
So I've prayed and sobbed and prayed some more for these babies and their devoted families.... all the while struggling to figure out what the point is... of me finding them in the first place. Maybe there is no point, but I like to believe that I God has put them in my life to act as a prayer warrior for these families in their time of darkness and need. That's the only thing I can figure at this point. It seems like such a small thing... such a small role to play.... but prayer is powerful and I will step up to this part and I ask that you will help me today.
The loving and wonderful parents of Kayleigh need your prayers as their beautiful baby girl went to be with Jesus after an all too short 11 months of life. Please help them by lifting them up in prayer. God is so wonderful and worthy of our praise - especially in times like these. Please pray that Kayleigh's parents will continue to follow Him in all things and that they will find a balance and peace in knowing that it is all according to His plan. My heart is truly breaking for their family... you can click on the button below to read their story.
1 comment:
I was so heartbroken when I woke to Adam's post. Such a great loss.
btw thank you for your comment on my blog. It means the world to me to have so much support.
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