Fat Friday

Now normally in my world, "fat" is just another F-word. Seriously... I would be just as stern on the girls if they used "fat" in a derrogatory way towards another person as if they used THE F-word. Yes, I'm super sensitive to the word seeing as how I've been... fat *cringe* for the better part of ... Oh... let's just the last 20-some years.

I'm not even going to get into the how's (eating, duh...) and why's. The reasons behind the eating are different for everyone. Most time there can be painful and traumatizing reasons... not for me, however. I had a charmed childhood so I'm not exactly sure *where* the emotional part of it began, but I do know that it started somewhere and somewhere along the way I've added more reasons to the pile. Didn't I just say I wasn't going to go into reasons? lol

So anyway, last Friday I started a journal to track my habits and last Friday was the last time I wrote in my journal.

*Classic* for this tired mom. Not at all out of the ordinary at all.

So I had started out just thinking I'd "watch" what I ate... kind of go the weight watchers route. I wouldn't really follow the plan... I'd just 'try and cut back on some things.

*insert haughty laughter here*

I learned that doesn't work for me. I've learned it time and time again that unless I am wholeheartedly following some type of guidelines then the overeating and self-loathing will just continue. So what am I doing now? I'm starting off with the induction phase of the Atkin's Diet. I was doing this in March... stayed on it for a good month with NO cheating... lost 5-7 pounds and then went off of it because my body wasn't responding to it like it did when I was 25. *sigh*

This is also *classic* me. "What? I'm not losing 85 pounds a month?! It must not be working something wrong with me!" - stop dieting and gain 10 to replace the good I just accomplished.

So, it's back to Atkins. For some reason, having the "forbidden foods" (fruit, sugars, carbs) works for me. I am able to say, "Oh, I can't eat that" is easier than being able to "oh, I shouldn't eat that."

Last weeks goals were...

*continue journaling (eh heh..)

*drink water (did so-so)

*go walking 3 times (p'shhhh)

*Lose 2 pounds by 5/1/09 - I lost 1.4! (probably because I started Atkins yesterday and drank my water!)

This weeks goals are:

*continue with Atkins - bringing in more lean protein: chicken, fish

*drink my water

*go walking at least ONCE

*lose another pound or two

*come back next Friday and blog about it

I've decided to make my goals a little more manageable this week (although they *were not* outlandish last week). Baby steps.

My starting weight will be called "ground zero" since I don't care to mention my actual weight. So, I've lost 1.4 pounds (!!!!!!!) from ground zero! I'll take it!